November 13, 2011

Neither Hate nor Love.


I don't know why but sometime I think of him, I don't deny that but I wasn't sure is it pieces of love I have for him or pieces of hate left in me. He did so much to me yet I made myself clear this year that "moving forward is better than dwell in the past" so I forgive him on what ever thing he did to me. Still, I sometime think of him and for what? I don't know. 


This evening I think I met his girlfriend, he turn away when I'm about to turn my way around. His girlfriend thinks that making us meet like that will make thing be okay (she's wrong) because it will cause awkwardness in us. My boyfriend saw him (I think) that's why he acted differently after that meeting. I feels sorry for my boyfriend due to what I did in the past. What amused me is that why would be running away upon seeing him? Why I still cannot forget him? 


It's total blank in me. If only I have the power to delete my memories it'll be perfect. In time of needs I start to find quotes that give me support that this is all part of life.


“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
-Marilyn Monroe